I don't even know where to start. I've lost my entire family, and to this day, I'm still not even sure how it happened. It started with my Dad dying. My brother, Jim, lied to my family and said I did and said things - that I just didn't. My brother, Frank, despised my Dad. On the day before my Dad died, I was finally allowed back into Jim's house. It was too late for me to say my goodbyes to my father. Frank, who hated my father, is sitting next to his bed. I am destroyed that I didn't get to say goodbye to my father, and this bastard is sitting next to his bed. A man who hated my Dad. He got to sit next to my father, and I was denied that spot. I'm just starting to write this blog. I have too much to get out. My brain is racing, so many thoughts fighting their way to the forefront to be heard.
What I want to be most known? I loved my Dad, my entire life, with my whole heart, and with every fiber of my being. I last saw him conscious on May 29th, 2013. I was forced to say a hurried goodbye to him because my brother was kicking me out of his house, saying he was going to put a bullet in my head. The rapist, wife-beating, drug addict, pimp who came out of a 10 year stint in jail for raping his second wife, kept me away from my Dad for the last month of his life, and lied to anyone who would listen, saying so many lies. He was schizophrenic at that point in his life - scary, scary man. Hallucinating that he was getting messages from dead people, and he was following their direction.
I need to get my thoughts together, and then I'll start from the beginning. I am not the monster he made me out to be. I miss my family so much. I'm inching closer and closer to just giving up on life. I've always been the one to try to keep the family together. And now I am an outcast. My family wants nothing to do with me because of the rapist's lies.
More later. The bottom line is that I miss my family terribly. I'm heartbroken and so incredibly sad - on a daily basis
